Hi! I'm Dr. Roz
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May can be a beautiful month—but for many, it can also be a heavy one. Between Mother’s Day and Memorial Day, reminders of loss can feel especially sharp. Even if it’s been years, you may find yourself caught off guard by an ache you thought had settled.
If you’re feeling tender, you’re not alone. Grief doesn’t follow the calendar. It moves in waves. It whispers in memories, shows up in unexpected silence, and clings to the empty chairs at celebrations.
But here’s what I want you to know:
Grief is not a flaw. It’s not a weakness. It’s a reflection of your love.
And that love still lives inside you.
This month, instead of pushing it away or trying to “get over it,” what if you gave yourself permission to honor it?
Here are five gentle ways to honor your grief—and by doing so, honor the love that still remains.
1. Say Their Name
There’s something sacred about saying a name—especially when the world has gone quiet around it.
Here’s the truth: what we miss most isn’t just the person—it’s the connection. The conversations. The inside jokes.
When someone we love dies—or when a relationship ends in a way that feels like death—we often stop saying their name. Out of pain. Out of fear of making others uncomfortable. Out of a belief that moving on means staying silent.
But here’s what I want you to know:
Saying their name is an act of remembrance. It’s an act of rebellion against forgetting.
It’s also an invitation—for your heart to feel, your memories to surface, and your healing to unfold.
✨ Why It Matters:
Neurologically, our brains are wired for attachment. Speaking a loved one’s name activates those same neural pathways, creating a sense of closeness—even in absence.
Emotionally, it allows us to process feelings instead of bottling them. It helps grief move, rather than stagnate.
Relationally, it opens space for connection. Others may be aching to talk about them too, but waiting for someone else to bring them up.
Whether you whisper it in prayer, write it in your journal, or tell someone a story that starts with, “You know, ___ used to always…”—speaking their name reaffirms that they mattered. That they still matter.
2. Create a Memory Ritual
Grief is unpredictable—but rituals create rhythm.
When you’re grieving, even the smallest action can bring a sense of steadiness. A memory ritual doesn’t have to be fancy or public. It just needs to make space for what your heart already knows: their presence still matters.
Unlike routines, which are often unconscious, rituals are conscious acts of meaning. They allow you to return, reflect, and remember with intention. They transform grief from something you carry silently into something you honor openly.
✨ Why It Matters:
Psychologically, rituals offer a sense of control and safety in seasons of uncertainty.
Emotionally, they create containers for grief, so feelings don’t overwhelm—they’re witnessed.
Spiritually, they connect us to the essence of the person we miss, allowing their legacy to be felt again and again.
Rituals ground us. They don’t have to be elaborate—they just need to be intentional.
Here’s one you can try:
Find a quiet space. Light a candle or play soft music. Sit near a window or place that feels peaceful.
Think of a memory, phrase, or moment that reminds you of your loved one.
Write it down. Let it be raw and real—no need for it to be poetic or perfect.
Say their name. Speak it into the room like a blessing.
Place your hand over your heart and whisper: “I carry you with me.”
It’s a small act with a big message: You are not forgotten.
3. Share Their Story
There’s a quiet kind of grief that comes from feeling like the world has moved on—like no one talks about them anymore, like their memory is fading.
But here’s the beautiful truth: Every time you share their story, you bring them back into the room.
You reconnect with the love.
You give someone else a glimpse of who they were.
You keep their spirit in motion.
Whether it’s a story you’ve told a hundred times or one you’ve never dared to speak aloud, each retelling is a thread between past and present.
✨ Why It Matters:
Therapeutically, storytelling helps us process grief by organizing memories and making meaning out of loss.
Relationally, it invites others to witness our grief and remember with us, instead of leaving us to carry it alone.
Emotionally, it shifts focus from what was lost to what was shared—and that creates warmth in the middle of sorrow.
🗣 Ways to Share Their Story:
Tell it over dinner: Whether it’s family or friends, bring them into the moment. “Did I ever tell you about the time ___…”
Voice note it: Sometimes your heart just needs to say it. Open your phone’s recorder and talk like they’re sitting beside you.
Write it down: Capture a memory in your journal, post it on social media, or start a digital memory album.
Pass it down: Share stories with your children, nieces, nephews, or mentees. Let their legacy shape the next generation.
4. Carry What They Taught You
My grandmother, Mama Nellie, made thee best spaghetti and meatballs. I tap into her essence and find myself recreating her magical meatballs when I crave to be back in her tiny shotgun house, slurping noodles and listening in on grown folks’ business.
Grief doesn’t just remind us of what we lost.
It also reveals what we carry forward.
There’s a way your loved one showed up in the world that lives in you now. Maybe it was how they made people laugh. How they made others feel seen. Maybe it was their generosity, their fire, their faith.
Even if your relationship was complicated, chances are—there’s something you learned from them.
And when you choose to live it out? That’s legacy in motion.
✨ Why It Matters:
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Living legacy gives grief a purpose—it turns pain into practice.
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Acting on their values helps you stay connected, especially on days when words feel too hard.
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Modeling what they taught you honors their presence while helping you heal through action.
🌱 Ways to Carry What They Taught You:
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Speak the affirmations they used to say to you—even if it’s to yourself in the mirror.
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Volunteer, donate, or support a cause they were passionate about.
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Share their wisdom—in a conversation, a post, or a note to someone who needs it.
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Recreate a favorite recipe, playlist, or tradition.
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Live with the same courage, kindness, or creativity that you admired in them.
5. Let Yourself Feel—Without Judgment
One of the hardest parts of grief isn’t just the sadness—it’s the story we tell ourselves about how we’re supposed to handle it.
“I should be over this by now.”
“I didn’t even cry—what’s wrong with me?”
“I feel too much… or maybe not enough.”
But here’s the truth:
Grief doesn’t follow a rulebook. It follows the rhythm of your heart—and that rhythm is allowed to change.
You might cry in the grocery store.
You might feel numb during a holiday dinner.
You might laugh in the middle of a memory that once brought tears.
You might feel nothing—and wonder why that scares you more than the pain.
All of it is valid. All of it is part of the process.
✨ Why It Matters:
Emotionally, giving yourself permission to feel—without judgment—keeps your grief from turning inward into shame.
Neurologically, when we suppress feelings, we actually prolong our pain. But when we make room for it, the nervous system can begin to regulate and recover.
Therapeutically, naming and honoring your emotions is one of the first steps toward post-traumatic growth.
You’re Not Alone in This
Grief has a way of making us feel isolated—but you are not alone.
Every tear, every memory, every moment of silence is a sign that your love was real. And your healing matters just as much as your loss. If you’re unsure how to take the first step — I created a simple, powerful guide to help you reconnect with yourself and heal on your own timeline.
Download the free guide: 7 Steps to Start Your Healing Journey
A Powerful Start On Your Journey
Healing is often thought of as this big, complicated process that feels impossible to start — but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming.
The 7 Steps to Start Your Healing Journey is a simple, clear guide to help you begin, whether you’re taking the first step toward therapy or need guidance on how to heal on your own.
Manageable Steps toward Healing and Healthy Relationships
This free guide is a gentle, empowering starting point for anyone ready to move out of survival mode and into healing — but unsure where to begin.
Through 7 reflective, soul-honoring steps, you’ll learn how to reconnect with your emotional world, release what’s been weighing you down, and take the first aligned steps toward lasting change. By the end of this guide, you’ll feel:
- More grounded and emotionally aware
- Clearer about what’s been holding you back
- Encouraged to take action — with support, not pressure
- Empowered to begin healing on your own terms
Begin Your Transformation in three steps
Download the Guide
Start with a free, gentle guide that helps you reflect, reset, and move forward with clarity.
Reflect and Journal
Use the reflection prompts to tune into your needs and begin the healing process — one small shift at a time.
Walk Away with a Strategy
You’ll have a clear, personal roadmap to help you take action that fits your life.
You’re not alone on this journey
We understand how isolating it can feel to face life’s challenges. This workshop offers a compassionate space where you can explore self-discovery and healing with others who understand your struggles. Trust us to guide you with wisdom and care. Our approach combines empathy with expert guidance, ensuring that you feel supported every step of the way. With nearly two decades of experience, we know how to empower you to reclaim your emotional well-being.
Roslyn Ashford, LPC
Founder and Clinical Director
Licensed Professional Counselor
Ariel Kinsey, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
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