Hi! I'm Dr. Roz
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Ever felt like you’re carrying the weight of stories that aren’t entirely yours?
Maybe you’ve worked hard to move forward — building, achieving, surviving — yet certain patterns keep finding their way back into your life. The same arguments. The same fears. The same silence.
It’s not weakness or fate. Sometimes, it’s history speaking through you.
This guide to generational trauma is a starting point to understand it better, and might be the missing puzzle piece in your healing journey.
What Is Generational Trauma?
Generational trauma, also called intergenerational or ancestral trauma, is a form of emotional and psychological pain passed down from one generation to the next. It’s not just about what happened to you, but what happened before you that still lives within you.
Unlike a single traumatic event, generational trauma isn’t always easy to name. It can show up as:
- Chronic anxiety or fear without a clear cause
- Emotional numbness or disconnection
- Constant people-pleasing or perfectionism
- Struggles with boundaries, rest, or relationships
- A persistent feeling of being “not enough”
If you’ve ever asked yourself:
- “Why do I shut down when people raise their voice?”
- “Why can’t I say no without guilt?”
- “Why do I feel emotionally stuck, even when life is fine?”
There’s a good chance you’re navigating more than just day-to-day stress. You might be carrying pain that didn’t start with you.
How Is Trauma Passed Down?
Generational trauma gets passed on in three main ways:
1. Behavioral Patterns
Children learn what’s “normal” by watching their caregivers. If love were conditional, anger unpredictable, or boundaries nonexistent, those lessons often get internalized and repeated.
“We repeat what we don’t repair.”
Maybe your family never talked about feelings. Independence was praised, and vulnerability was punished. These learned behaviors can echo for decades unless intentionally interrupted.
2. Unspoken Beliefs
Even if no one said “Don’t trust people” or “You’re only worthy if you’re successful,” these messages may have been communicated nonverbally, through silence, tension, or survival-mode parenting.
Common inherited beliefs might sound like:
Unspoken Belief | How It Shows Up Today |
“Rest is lazy.” | Guilt when relaxing or doing “nothing” |
“Don’t talk about it.” | Emotional avoidance or shutdown |
“We survive, no matter what.” | Over-functioning or pushing past burnout |
“Your worth is what you do.” | Perfectionism, people-pleasing, or overgiving |
3. Physiological Impact (Epigenetics)
Here’s where science meets story: studies show that trauma can actually alter the way genes are expressed, meaning stress responses can be biologically passed down across generations.
Your nervous system might be stuck in fight, flight, or freeze, not because you’re too sensitive, but because it’s been wired that way for survival.
Signs You Might Be Carrying Generational Trauma
You don’t need to have a detailed family history to know something’s off.
Here are a few common signs:
- You’re “functioning” but feel emotionally flat
- You keep repeating patterns in relationships
- You struggle with guilt or over-responsibility
- You often feel unsafe in your body or emotions
- You don’t know how to set boundaries without shame
- You feel overwhelmed, tired, or numb, and don’t know why
Sound familiar? You might be living in what we call a trauma loop, a pattern of survival that once kept your ancestors safe but is no longer serving you.
Why Awareness Isn’t Enough (But It’s Where We Start)
Here’s the thing: you can’t journal your way out of generational trauma.
And you definitely can’t “just think positive.”
Healing starts with awareness, but that’s only the first step. At Nu Leaf Therapy, we use a gentle framework called RESET to help you:
- Recognize your patterns
- Explore your emotional roots.
- Soothe your nervous system
- Establish new boundaries
- Tend to your emotional needs
Because you don’t need to relive everything to begin healing, you just need to learn how to listen to yourself again.
How Generational Trauma Shows Up for High-Functioning Women
If you’re a high-achiever, perfectionist, or helper, this section is for you.
Generational trauma doesn’t always look like chaos. Sometimes, it looks like:
- The overachiever who keeps chasing gold stars but feels empty inside
- The caretaker who gives to everyone but forgets herself
- The strong one who never asks for help, even when she’s breaking inside
- The fixer who always manages the mess, but secretly feels resentful
Your emotional burnout might not come from “too much.”
It might come from carrying what was never yours to hold.
You Don’t Have to Repeat What Hurt You
One of the most powerful truths about generational trauma is this:
“It can be passed down, but it can also be interrupted.”
Healing doesn’t mean blaming your family. It means making conscious choices. It means shifting from autopilot to awareness. From survival to self-intimacy. From carrying the legacy of pain to rewriting your own story.
Here’s what that might look like:
What You Inherited | What You Can Choose Instead |
Silence around emotions | Emotional honesty & self-awareness |
Self-sacrifice to be loved | Boundaries that honor your needs |
Avoidance of conflict | Respectful, clear communication |
Numbness or shutdown | Reconnection with body & self |
But Where Do You Even Start
If you’re thinking, “This feels like a lot”… it is. And that’s okay.
Healing generational trauma isn’t about fixing everything overnight.
It’s about starting gently, with curiosity, not pressure
Here are 3 low-stress starting points:
1. Take a Mental Health Quiz
Sometimes we can’t name what we’re feeling until we see it reflected.
2. Get Curious, Not Judgmental
Notice your patterns without labeling them as “bad.” Try journaling on these:
- What patterns do I see in my family and in myself?
- Where do I feel stuck or disconnected lately?
- What emotion feels hardest for me to express, and why?
3. Start with a Workshop
We host interactive events that blend therapy-informed education with guided reflection and group discussion, helping you take the next step in your healing journey.
- Interactive Healing Workshops
- Mini Classes & Masterclasses
- Vision & Intention Experiences
- Retreats & Immersive Experiences
- Community Circles & Gatherings
4. Talk to a Trauma-Informed Therapist
If you’ve been white-knuckling your way through life, you don’t have to anymore.
At Nu Leaf Therapy, our trauma-informed therapists specialize in working with high-achieving women in Mississippi, Texas, and Florida who feel stuck, exhausted, or like they’re losing themselves.
We offer CBT, CPT, grief therapy, Gottman couples counseling, and holistic therapy options, all accessible virtually for your busy life.
When Generational Pain Meets Present-Day Pressure
Therapy isn’t about rehashing every painful memory. It’s about learning how to stop ignoring yourself. How to hear your needs. How to finally stop feeling like you’re always one step behind, even when everything looks “fine” on the outside.
If you’re tired of repeating loops you never chose, it’s time for a reset.
Your Reset Starts Here
- You don’t have to carry it all anymore.
- You don’t have to figure it all out alone.
- You just have to take the first step.
Whether you’re navigating anxiety, relationship patterns, grief, or just a quiet, persistent sense of being off, Nu Leaf Therapy is here for you.
Let’s Break the Cycle, Together
Start your journey toward healing today with Nu Leaf Therapy.
You’ve carried enough.
Let’s create space for something new.
Visit www.nuleaftherapy.com to learn more.
- Find Emotional Balance
- Heal fromTrauma
- Overcome Anxiety
— Dr. Roslyn Ashford
Begin Your Path to Emotional Wellness in Three steps
Request a Consultation
Reach out to us to book your initial consultation and take the first step towards healing.
Engage in Therapy
Participate in our personalized therapy sessions, tailored to address your specific emotional challenges.
Experience Transformation
Witness the positive changes as you gain control over your emotions and enhance your mental well-being.
Your partner in the healing process
We understand the depth of your struggles. Our approach combines empathy with expert guidance, ensuring that you feel supported every step of the way. As a leading cognitive behavior therapy center in Mississippi, our CBT, CPT and Gottman-certified therapists ensure holistic wellness through evidence-based practices, engaging unconventional therapeutic activities, helping you cultivate a happier, healthier, and more balanced life. With nearly two decades of experience, we know how to empower you to reclaim your emotional well-being.
Roslyn Ashford, LPC
Founder and Clinical Director
Licensed Professional Counselor
Ariel Kinsey, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Discover what’s holding you back
Our Mood Reset Quiz is designed to pinpoint the underlying causes of emotional stagnation. Whether it’s lingering stress, unprocessed emotions, or recurring patterns, the quiz provides actionable insights to reset your mood and reignite your enthusiasm for life.
Why Choose Us?
Experience profound personal transformation
Choose Nu Leaf Therapy and:
- Regain control over your emotional responses
- Build resilience against life’s challenges
- Find peace in the midst of chaos
- Equip yourself with tools for lasting change
- Join a community that values emotional health
Take the next step in your healing journey with us.
As leader in cognitive behavior therapy across Mississippi, Texas and Florida, our CBT, CPT and Gottman-certified therapists ensure holistic wellness through evidence-based practices, engaging unconventional therapeutic activities, helping you cultivate a happier, healthier, and more balanced life.
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Need Further Help?
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FAQ
Frequently Asked Questions
Not at all. People who ask for help know when they need it and have the courage to reach out. Everyone needs help now and then. In our work together, I’ll help you explore and identify your strengths and how to implement them to reduce the influence of the problems you are facing.
The difference is between someone who can do something, and someone who has the training and experience to do that same thing professionally. A mental health professional can help you approach your situation in a new way– teach you new skills, gain different perspectives, listen to you without judgment or expectations, and help you listen to yourself. Furthermore, counseling is completely confidential. You won’t have to worry about others “knowing my business.” Lastly, if your situation provokes a great deal of negative emotion, and you’ve been confiding in a friend or family member, there is the risk that once you are feeling better you could start avoiding that person so you aren’t reminded of this difficult time in your life.
Medication can be effective but it alone cannot solve all issues. Sometimes medication is needed in conjunction with counseling. Our work together is designed to explore and unpack the problems you are experiencing and expand on your strengths that can help you accomplish your personal goals.
Because each person has different issues and goals for counseling, it will be different depending on the individual. We tailor my therapeutic approach to your specific needs.
Unfortunately, it is not possible to estimate how long it will take. Everyone’s circumstances are unique to them and the length of time counseling can take to allow you to accomplish your goals depends on your desire for personal development, your commitment, and the factors that are driving you to seek counseling in the first place.
We are so glad you are dedicated to getting the most out of your sessions. Your active participation and dedication will be crucial to your success.
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